Smoke

EXT: DAY. ELEVATED SUBWAY TRAIN

Against the backdrop of the Manhattan skyline, we see an elevated subway train heading toward Brooklyn.

After a moment, we begin to hear voices. An animated discussion is
taking place inside the Brooklyn Cigar Company.

2. INT: DAY. THE BROOKLYN CIGAR CO.

The cigar shop from within. Displays of cigar boxes, a wall of
magazines, piles of newspapers. cigarettes, smoking paraphernalia. On the walls, we see framed black-and-white photographs of people smoking cigars: Groucho Marx, George Burns, Clint Eastwood, Edward G. Robinson, Orson Welles, Charles Laughton, Frankenstein's monster, Leslie Caron, Ernie Kovacs.

Words appear on the screen: "SUMMER 1990."

AUGGIE WREN is behind the counter. Somewhere between forty and fifty years old, AUGGIE is a scruffy presence: unkempt hair, a two-day stubble of beard, dressed in blue jeans and a black T-shirt. We see an
intricate tattoo on one arm.

It is a slow hour. AUGGIE is flipping through a photography magazine.

Near the counter are the three OTB MEN. These are local characters who
like to hang out in the store, shooting the breeze with AUGGIE. One is black (TOMMY) and the other two are white (JERRY and DENNIS). DENNIS wears a T-shirt with the following words printed across the front: "If
life is a dream, what happens when I wake up?"

TOMMY
I'll tell you why they're not going anywhere.

JERRY
Yeah? And why is that?

TOMMY
Management. Those guys are walking around with
their heads up their asses.

DENNIS
They made some great deals. Tommy. Hernandez.
Carter. Without those two, there never woulda
been no World Series.

TOMMY
That was four years ago. I'm talking about now.
(Growing more intense)
Look who they got rid of. Mitchell. Backman.
McDowell. Dykstra. Aguillera. Mookie. Mookie
Wilson, for Chrissakes.
(Shakes his head)

JERRY
(Sarcastically)
And Nolan Ryan. Don't forget him.

DENNIS
(Chiming in)
Yeah. And Amos Otis.

TOMMY
(Shrugs)
Okay, joke about it. I don't give a shit.

JERRY
Jesus, Tommy, it ain't science, you know. You
got your good trades and your bad trades.
That's how it works.

TOMMY
They didn't have to do a thing, that's all I'm
saying. The team was good, the best fucking
team in baseball. But then they had to screw it
up.
(Pause)
They traded their birthright for a mess of
porridge.
(Shakes his head)
A mess of porridge.

The bells on the door jangle as someone enters. It is AUGGIE'S protégé, JIMMY ROSE, a mentally retarded man in his late twenties. He has been sweeping the sidewalk outside the store and holds a broom in his right hand.

AUGGIE
How'd you do out there, Jimmy?

JIMMY
Good, Auggie. Real good.
(Proudly thrusts out broom)
All finished.

AUGGIE
(Philosophically)
It'll never be finished.

JIMMY
(Confused)
Huh?

AUGGIE
That's how it is with sidewalks. People come,
people go, and they all drop shit on the
ground. As soon as you clean up one spot and
move on to the next, the first spot is dirty
again.

JIMMY
(Trying to digest AUGGIE'S comment)
I just do what you tell me, Auggie. You tell me
to sweep, so I sweep.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

A sudden outburst is heard from the area near the counter.

YOUNG MAN
(Aghast)
Ninety-two dollars?

The focus of the scene shifts to AUGGIE and the YOUNG MAN.

AUGGIE
They don't come cheap, son. These little honeys
are works of art. Rolled by hand in a tropical
climate, most likely by an eighteen year old
girl in a thin cotton dress with no underwear
on. Little beads of sweat forming in her naked
cleavage. The smooth, delicate fingers nimbly
turning out one masterpiece after another...

YOUNG MAN
(Pointing)
And how much are these?

AUGGIE
Seventy-eight dollars. The girl who rolled these
was probably wearing panties.

YOUNG MAN
(Pointing)
And these?

AUGGIE
Fifty-six. That girl had on a corset.

YOUNG MAN
(Pointing)
And these?

AUGGIE
Forty-four. They're on special this week from
the Canary Islands. A real bargain.

YOUNG MAN
I think I'll take them.
(Takes wallet from his pocket
and counts out $50 which he
hands to AUGGIE)

AUGGIE
A good choice. You wouldn't want to celebrate
the birth of your firstborn with a box of
stinkers, would you? Remember to keep them in
the refrigerator until you hand them out.

YOUNG MAN
The refrigerator?

AUGGIE
It'll keep them fresh. If they get too dry,
they'll break. And you don't want that to
happen, do you?
(Putting cigar box into a bag,
ringing up sale on the cash register)
Tobacco is a plant, and it needs the same
loving care you'd give an orchid.

YOUNG MAN
Thanks for the tip.

AUGGIE
Any time. And congratulations to you and your
wife. Just remember, though, in the immortal
words of Rudyard Kipling: "A woman is just a
woman, but a cigar is a smoke”.

YOUNG MAN
(Confused)
What does that mean?

AUGGIE
Damned if I know. But it has a nice ring to it,
don't it?

At that moment, we hear the bells on the door jangle again. Another customer enters the store: PAUL BENJAMIN. He is in his early forties, dressed in rumpled casual clothes. As he approaches the counter, the YOUNG MAN brushes past him and leaves the store. The OTB MEN and JIMMY look on as PAUL and AUGGIE talk.

PAUL
Hey, Auggie. How's it going?

AUGGIE
Hey, man. Good to see you. What'll it be today?

PAUL
Two tins of Schimmelpennincks. And throw in a
lighter while you're at it.

AUGGIE
(Reaching for cigars and lighter)
The boys and I were just having a philosophical
discussion about women and cigars. Some
interesting connections there, don't you think?

PAUL
(Laughs)
Definitely.
(Pause)
I suppose it all goes back to Queen Elizabeth.

AUGGIE
The Queen of England?

PAUL
Not Elizabeth the Second, Elizabeth the First.
(Pause)
Did you ever hear of Sir Walter Raleigh?

TOMMY
Sure. He's the guy who threw his cloak down
over the puddle.

JERRY
I used to smoke Raleigh cigarettes. They came
with a free gift coupon in every pack.

PAUL
That's the man. Well, Raleigh was the person
who introduced tobacco in England, and since he
was a favorite of the Queen's -- Queen Bess, he
used to call her -- smoking caught on as a
fashion at court. I'm sure Old Bess must have
shared a stogie or two with Sir Walter. Once,
he made a bet with her that he could measure
the weight of smoke.

DENNIS
You mean, weigh smoke?

PAUL
Exactly. Weigh smoke.

TOMMY
You can't do that. It's like weighing air.

PAUL
I admit it's strange. Almost like weighing
someone's soul. But Sir Walter was a clever
guy. First, he took an unsmoked cigar and put
it on a balance and weighed it. Then he lit up
and smoked the cigar, carefully tapping the
ashes into the balance pan. When he was
finished, he put the butt into the pan along
with the ashes and weighed what was there.
Then he subtracted that number from the
original weight of the unsmoked cigar. The
difference was the weight of the smoke.

TOMMY
Not bad. That's the kind of guy we need to take
over the Mets.

PAUL
Oh, he was smart, all right. But not so smart
that he didn't wind up having his head chopped
off twenty years later.
(Pause)
But that's another story.

AUGGIE
(Handing PAUL his change and putting
cigar tins and lighter in a paper bag)
Seven eighty-five out of twenty.
(As PAUL turns to leave)
Take care of yourself now, and don't do
anything I wouldn't do.

PAUL
(Smiling)
I wouldn't think of it.
(Waves casually to the OTB MEN)
See you around, fellas.

AUGGIE and the OTB MEN watch as PAUL leaves the store.



backdrop - kulisy, dekoracja
skyline - sylwetka (miasta), panorama
elevated - nadziemny
head toward - zmierzać w kierunku
animated - ożywiony
take place - mieć miejsce
display - wystawa sklepowa
pile - stos
paraphernalia - rekwizyty, przybory, sprzęt
framed - oprawiony w ramkę
counter - lada, kontuar
scruffy - niechlujny, niestaranny
unkempt - rozczochrany
stubble - nieogolony zarost
intricate - zawiły
flip through - kartkować
hang out in - przebywać
shoot the breeze - to spend time chatting; spędzać czas na pogawędkach
intense - poważny, wytężony
get rid of - pozbywać się
chime in - wtrącać się
shrug - wzruszać ramionami
not give a shit - (impolite)- to not care about sth; I don’t give a shit- - Mam to w dupie
screw something up - schrzanić coś
birthright - prawa przysługujące człowiekowi
jangle - dzwonić
protégé - protegowany
mentally retarded - opóźniony w rozwoju
sweep - zamiatać
broom - szczotka (do zamiatania)
thrust (thrust, thrust) - wystawiać
digest - trawić, przyswajać
outburst - wybuch, eksplozja
aghast - osłupiały, przerażony
work of art - dzieło sztuki
roll - zwijać, rolować, skręcać
underwear - bielizna
beads of sweat - krople potu
cleavage - dekolt
smooth - gładki
nimbly - żwawo, zwinnie
masterpiece - arcydzieło
panties - majtki, figi
corset - gorset
bargain - okazja
firstborn - pierworodny
stinker - śmierdziel
orchid - orchidea, storczyk
immortal - nieśmiertelny, wieczny
rumpled - rozczochrany, zmierzwiony
brush past - wymijać
catch on - zdobywać popularność, przyjmować się
stogie - niedrogie, długie I cienkie cygaro
tap - lekko uderzać, tu: strząsać (popiół)
ash - popiół
balance pan - szalka wagi
butt - tu: niedopałek
subtract - odejmować
wind up - kończyć
chop - rąbać
fella - a boy / man; facet, chłopak



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